I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
