drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
