angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
