Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
