I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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