Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
