I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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