You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
