if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
i out mim tonsoeep
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
