toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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