Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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