I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
