I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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