i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
