No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
