So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
