I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize