I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You had me at "let me see your balls"
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