oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
