Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
