I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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