Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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