if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
