I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
