I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
