i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
