Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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