Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
He has the fingertips of a God
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