i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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