I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
