Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
