i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
