that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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