i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Randomize
