i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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