Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Just invented taco cereal.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
He has the fingertips of a God
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