forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
