Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
