So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
