so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
