Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
