Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
