she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
