so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize