But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize