Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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