no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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