she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
high people should be assigned attendants
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
