Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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