im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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