Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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