It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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