State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize