Three words: puerto rican gang bang
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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