guys are not supposed to queef...right?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.Â
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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