areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
