To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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