Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize
