...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
