i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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