So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize