I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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