have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
