what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
