Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
