Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
