Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
