that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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